Swimming with lesbians

Today I finally got my arse in gear, took the plunge and went for a dip in the lovely Ladies Pond on Hampstead Heath. This was (amazingly) just the second time this year that I have managed to make it to the pond. This is surprising given that it has long been and continues to be, a veritable Hive of Lesbian Activity, as those in-the-know know.The pond is just like the rest of Hampstead Heath – not full of lezzers (unfortunately), but completely timeless.

It looks (so I’m told) the same as it did 50 years ago – and plenty of the regular lady swimmers from 50 years ago are still showing up on a weekly, if not daily basis. Even infrequent visitors like myself cant help but notice the familiar faces of those hardened prunes who plunge everyday regardless of weather and water temperature.

Take for example, the slim-but-saggy French lady who stands tall (and stark naked) on the bench in the changing room soaking up the sun as she gossips about trivialities for hours on end with her fellow bathers. I’ve seen her both times I’ve been this year – same place everytime, keeping that weather beaten leathery coat an autumnal shade of olivey brown. No doubt she’ll have excellent camoflage when paddling around the pond in a few weeks time – as soon as she swims through the bits where leaves have fallen in, she’ll be invisible.

Then there are the Life Guards – all of whom, in my opinion, must be lezzers. Can you imagine a man-loving straight lady wanted to watch semi-clad women wander around in varying degrees of wetness all day long, all week long, all year long…I think not.

One of the aforementioned Life Guards now plays for my football team, when she’s not safeguarding pond dwellers from inopportune cramp, reed entanglements and other such life-threatening swimming afflictions. So, today my pals and I got a cup of coffee after our swim, on account of us being ‘in’ with the staff, innit. How pleasant to enjoy a warming treat after lowering our body temperatures by ten degrees in that deceptively icy pool. And how even more pleasant to lay out soaking up the sun (and the girls) in The Meadow apres nage…

This makes me like the Ladies Pond possibly even more than I already did. Why on earth was this only the second time I went this summer?!


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