Lesbian wake up calls

I rarely give much thought to the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning. This is because (on good days) I’m preoccupied with whoever I’m sharing the bed with, and (on not so good days) I’m too busy Running Late – simultaneously straightening my hair/making sandwiches/cleaning teeth/leaving the house (it’s hard work being a one-man-band).

Hence if you asked me what was the first thing that popped into my mind when I woke up this morning, I’d have to lie to make myself appear well-informed. Same for any other morning. FYI – I rarely remember what I dream about either. So, although logic tells me my waking thoughts probably relate (however tenuously) to what I’m doing/who I’m with/where I am, I still can’t remember what it was that crossed my mind when I woke up this morning.

That’s not to say I have a rubbish memory or lack attention to detail – au contraire. I can name all 50 American states, would win Radio 2’s Pop Master if I entered and officially rule the Trivial Pursuit roost. I also notice all sorts of silly things like the fact that “t’is” is an anagram of “it’s” and also has the same meaning. Clever, huh?

Almost as clever as the FedEx logo, which by a stroke of absolute design genius has a subliminal forward arrow contained between the ‘E’ and the ‘x’. Look: ‘FedEx’. Brilliant. (I should probably admit that someone pointed that out to me – but I can honestly claim that I have noticed it every time since)

Anyway, the reason for thinking about this previously un-thought-about thinking is a mildly amusing observation I made over the weekend: apparently it’s possible to think about a rugby match first thing in the morning! And let me be clear about this – I would never wake up thinking about Fiji beating Wales in the rugby. Who does that?! Bloody sporty lesbian girlfriends, apparently. Huh. And all this despite my (far more interesting) self being the first thing in eyeshot.

Maybe I’m being naive but it surprises me that sports (especially sport on TV) could take precedence over Me, especially if I’m in the bed at the same time. I managed to stifle my utter shock with a bemused laugh as she opened her eyes, looked affectionately at me and sleepily chuckled, “Ha, can’t believe Wales got beaten by Fiji.” Bloody jocks.

I’m now considering what obscure and un-girlfriend related piece of photography trivia I should conjure up to mumble at her next time we happen to wake up together. Or maybe I’ll break into one of my rants about Diane Arbus (hero, muse, fit). I certainly do not intend to lose a Battle of Affection with the Rugby World Cup

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