Lesbian plastercine

For someone who prides themselves on being assertive, strong-minded and independent I’m doing a pretty rubbish job at being Me at the moment. My once iron-like constitution has rusted away leaving a pathetic state of semi-permanent hyperchondriasis, my supposedly dominant personality is questioning its once indubitable authoritah and I can’t remember the last time I had some quality time with myself. I feel a bit like The Shaz, as it were, is starting to take on the form a piece of Play Doh(monochrome, probably royal blue) that’s been ‘sculpted’ in a manner reminiscent of a Louise Bourgeois piece.

Play Doh

I’m thinking small-bodied many-spindly-legged spider – with very thin, precarious limbs that look as if they might break at the slightest knock. I hate spiders. And, I especially dislike spiders’ legs. Half of me thinks I should reel the legs back in, double some of them up (thereby strengthening the important ones, while regrettably sacrificing the rest). The other half thinks some of those legs should just be hacked off and be done with it. Yet another half thinks I’m doing fine and I should ignore any criticism. Can you see what I mean – since when have there been more than two halves in a whole? This splintering of personality is another obvious problem…

It seems there just isn’t time for me to fit everything that I want to fit into the traditional 24 hour day. The upshot of this is that, alas, some spider legs don’t look as healthy as others. Another upshot is that I’m tempted to start resenting some of the legs for being there, demanding my time. I’m fully aware that this is stupid, so am proactively stopping myself. And in doing so, have just given the spider sculpture another leg! Maybe I’ll start eating some of the meatier looking ones – it will certainly save time in the kitchen, which can hopefully be invested elsewhere in more rewarding activities. Like, for example, spending some quality time in my darkroom playing with the lovely new medium format contact printer that I just bought.

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