One of my housemates asked me this morning why I hadn’t been writing my blog lately. She pointed out that it had been more than a month since the last post. She’s right – there’s been nothing for weeks. My response to her question about why, was similarly vacant.
I don’t know why I cant write anything at the moment. I’ve tried thinking about what to write and there’s nothing there. I’ve sat in front of a blank box on the WordPress screen waiting for it to fill up with words, and it won’t. I’ve even tried typing – that didn’t get me anywhere. It’s writer’s block, I suppose.
Well, that’s almost true. I’m not lying about the lack of inspiration for witty tales of lesbian pursuit, observation and all the other light-hearted banter I usually stick on here. I haven’t been able to conjure up any of that for bloody ages. However, I’d be lying if I said I had a total writer’s block. I can think of lots of stuff to write about – it’s just I haven’t wanted to share any of it with the world via this blog. (This is probably a good thing for all concerned as it wouldn’t make the lightest of reads).
I’m not that happy at the moment. As a result I’ve spent the past month ensuring that every minute of every day is sequestered by activities designed to occupy the maximum quantity of brain space and use the largest possible amount of physical energy. The idea being that at the end of each hectic day, I slip effortlessly into blissful rejuvenating sleep. I then wake up ready to do it all over again. Any ‘free’ time that could feasible become space for my mind to wander around in, is officially otherwise engaged – busy, etc.
Being busy has its butts though – as a consequence of rushing around like a blue-assed fly for a month, I’ve finally hit the enigmatic wall (it was made of bricks) and am absolutely worn out. Which is why, in a couple of days, I’m going on a scaled-down version of the soul-searching ‘finding myself’ trip I promised myself I’d have after university. So, a holiday, in grown-up speak.
That means, rather than going all the way round the world to find the answer I’m streamlining and hoping that two (south east Asian) countries will suffice. I’m heading to that cliched gap-year mecca called Bangkok, via Cambodia. I may post an update or two. Hopefully both Blog and I will return safely and refreshed ready for action.