I’m going to start calling K-Town Gay-Town. When I first moved here a couple of years ago it instantly felt like it was supposed to be (hence giving it an affectionate nickname almost straight away), and now I know why. It’s absolutely riddled with homosexuals…

Today’s sightings included four fags, three lezzers and five on the fence. I was only out for an hour or so, but had I known it would be such a visual feast, I’d have made the effort to leave my house well before three pm today. I don’t know why I get so excited when I see other lesbians out and about in K-Town – but for some reason, sightings are like squares of dairy milk.

Maybe it’s because I’m secretly a little bit scared of them. It’s a TUA (truth universally acknowledged) that I’m terrible with girls…that I like, or might potentially like. Clearly lesbians fall into this category. I’ve been told conversation with me in such circumstances is a bit like ‘pulling teeth’, and that’s not far wrong. I don’t know what it is – usually I can talk for hours. But not if I’m near a strange lesbian, especially if it’s a fit one. So, this fear of girls is perhaps why I find it exciting to observe them from a safe distance, in my ‘hood. It’s always nice to be checked out too.

Anyway, today’s haul of Lez-Spots included an interesting new revelation. I was in my local charity shop, which is run by a very friendly fag with whom I’m well acquainted, and noticed that his young (female) assistant was sporting the lesbian summer uniform. You know, the combat shorts and white vest – her aviators were probably behind the till somewhere. I’ve seen this girl many times before and never batted a gay eyelid, but today was different. Her uniform completely gave her away, revealing to me for the first time her massive inner lesbian. Actually, thinking about it now, I don’t know how I missed it before – she’s a full blown strutting, boy pant-wearing lezzer. So obvious!

Before picking up a quick compliment from the friendly fag (he always tells me how good my hair is looking) I moved on to one of K-Town’s more familiar lezzer haunts, Kutt Zone on K-Town Road. For a haircut. The holiday sun and sweat had made my hair almost double in length and more annoyingly, density, so I dropped by in the hope that I could secure a last minute trim before hitting the town tonight. And bumped (almost literally – it was a near miss when crossing the road) into my second K-Town Lez of the day. What fun – it was like lesbian pinball! This one was an unremarkable dark-haired one, brandishing a couple of weighty looking shopping bags full of tins of cat food. OK, I made that last bit up, but it would have been funny if they were…

Number three was slightly more interesting in that she didn’t reciprocate my lesbian nod of acknowledgment. That was a little rude, but I’ll forgive her – she may have known not what she do…perhaps she was distracted (I know I’m regularly guilty of wandering around in my own world). Otherwise there’s no excuse – lesbians always have to at least make eye contact, don’t they? It’s all part of the fun of being in a semi-secret society.


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