Cardigans and RED jeans

Happily a big grey cloud has appeared over K-Town, excusing me from the late afternoon run I was thinking I really probably should do. I’m going to talk about cardigans on lesbians instead. And RED jeans.

I’ve just been cardigan shopping in K-Town with one of my Homies – he had this idea that we should wear cardies to a birthday party we are going to later. Now, I’ve not owned a cardie since I had to wear one over my gingham summer dress at junior school. That was horrible.

That’s also why thinking about cardies now conjures up all sorts of unpleasant images for me – itchy scratchy acrylic material that smells a bit like the inaccessible corners of a pensioner’s bungalow, is the first thing that comes to mind. Then there’s the association my mind makes with the word ‘mardy’ – another throwback from my junior school era, when my mother sometimes used the m-word to describe me in the pre-tantrum state. Almost as irritating as acrylic fibres tickling arm hairs.

For a long time my grandmother was the only person I knew who used the word ‘cardie’ – incidentally, she was also a fan of the word ‘mardy’. It also rhymes so must be true. Anyway, that along with the obvious aesthetic displeasure of most of the cardigan world, goes someway to explaining why I don’t wear them. So, why then, did I find myself staring a a black double breasted CARDIGAN in the Levi’s shop on Regent Street earlier this week?

I know cardies are relatively cool in the lesbian world – all the fashionable girls at Wish wear them with their skinny jeans and faux-Arab scarves. They look alright, but I can’t help feeling a bit queasy about cardies – I think it might have something to do with the buttons. And the smell of old people’s bungalows.

They are also bloody hard to find in charity shops. Homie and I trawled every charity shop in K-Town on Saturday afternoon and managed to find just one cardigan – a small-gay-man sized striped effort. More on that later – you can probably see where that cardigan is going though…

Back to me. The Levi’s cardigan envy isn’t an isolated incident – there have been other odd clothes shopping experiences, lately. I’ve become aware that I’ve been doing some weird apparel-related things. I think it has something to do with being single, but I’m not yet clear exactly how that works. For example, when I was in the Levi’s shop I bought a couple of pairs of slim-fitting jeans. Some people might called them ‘skinny’ jeans. One pair is full black (like Pantone Process Black), another in faded grey (Pantone can’t convey this one), and there is one other pair, which are…RED. Crazy – I’m the last person I thought I’d see wearing RED jeans.

But, they are perfect. The fit like only Levi’s can and even though they are RED, I don’t feel particularly self-conscious when wearing them. Well not too much anyway. The following pictures demonstrate reality and perception accurately, in that order, I’d say:

Reality in RED jeans

Reality in RED jeans

What I see in my RED jeans world

What I see in my RED jeans world

They are either the coolest item of clothing I have ever bought, or one of the worst mistakes. At the moment I feel like a rockstar when I wear them.

Anyway, by the end of our charity shop shopping trip, Homie had found himself a nice 100% acrylic purple and cream (probably once white) button up gem of a cardie. That’s the one I mentioned earlier. It was £5.95 in Oxfam on K-Town Road – outrageous – but we bought it because it’s money for a good cause. Unfortunately, I didn’t manage to find one, so he is flying solo. And I’m wearing my RED jeans.


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